Save You
by zomgitsmarisa
Summary: Nick is fading away, and there's nothing Joe can do to save his baby brother. Character death. Joe Nick, brotherly relationship. JONAS.


**A/N: Alright, I'd just like to say that for once I'm actually really proud of something that I've done :D I've been working on this for a good two months, but tonight I decided just to sit down and finish it. And three hours later I finished, and here we are (: It's sort of based on the song Save You by Simple Plan****. Well, the song kind of inspired it so... yeah. I found Nick's speech at the end on Google and edited it a little bit to fit the story.  
I worked really, really hard on this. I actually teared up while I was writing it, and I never cry about fanfictions. I'm also a little scared about uploading this, but I decided to give it a go anyway. I know that there are probably tons of other similar stories like this on this site, and this probably can't even compare to some of them, but whatever. If you don't like it, go press the back button. My grandma had cancer, so I kinda based it on my experiences with her, as well as facts from other stories. And thus ends this incredibly long author's note. Reviews make me smile, but please, no flames.**

**JONASJONASJONAS**

The silence is overwhelming, too much for Joe to handle.

He stares down at the linoleum floor, the steady drip of the IV slowly driving him insane, the ticking clock on the wall a constant reminder of what lay ahead.

"Hey, Joe?"

His head snaps up at the sound of his younger brother's voice, a rarity nowadays. "Yeah, Nick?"

"Do you believe in heaven?"

The question catches Joe by surprise. _Does_ he believe in heaven? He wasn't even sure that he believed in God anymore, after all He'd put his family through. After the initial diagnosis, he'd prayed, reciting the rosary hundreds of times in hopes that He would answer his prayers and cure his brother. Once the cancer had metastasized to Nick's brain, Joe had given up all hope; he'd lost his faith in God.

"I… I don't know," Joe stammers, unable to look his brother in the eye. He clenches his fist, his fingernails digging into the flesh of his hand.

"I'm not going to let this slow me down," Nick had announced at dinner one night, a few weeks after he'd first been discharged from the hospital. "I'm going to help other kids like me. I'm not going to let this stop me from following my dreams,"

Joe remembered the looks on his parents' faces, how they'd exchanged sad glances, as if they already knew what was in store for their son, as if they could already see him fading away.

"So if you don't believe in heaven, then what do you think happens when someone dies?" Nick whispers, his voice hoarse.

Joe forces himself to look at his brother. The spark was missing from his normally shining chocolate eyes, his skin a pasty white. The rosy color was gone from his now hollow cheeks, his usually soft, pink lips chapped. A Yankees baseball cap was perched atop the thin curls on his head in attempt to hide the results of the chemotherapy. He was dying, and there was nothing Joe could do to save him.

"Nick…" Joe breathes, feeling a lump forming in his throat. "I don't know. I really don't,"

"Are you afraid of dying?" Joe hears himself say after a few moments, the words slipping out of his mouth before he can stop them, breaking the tense, uncomfortable silence.

"No,"

"No?"

"I'm not afraid of dying. It's just… I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired," Joe can hear the strain in Nick's voice, and he feels the tears welling up behind his eyes. "I want it all to go away,"

Joe flashes back to a few months before, at one of his brother's annual check-ups.

"There isn't anything else we can do about it. He's got about six months left to live," The doctor explained calmly, trying to break the news as easily and pain-free as possible.

The memory was so clear; it was almost as if it were just yesterday. His mother had immediately broken down, sobbing into his father's shoulder. Even his dad, who was normally the strong one, was tearing up. Kevin had just sat there motionless, as if he didn't believe that this was actually happening, and Frankie was too little to realize that his older brother was dying. As clear as the memory was, Joe couldn't recall his reaction.

"I'll miss you," Joe states quietly, returning to the present.

"I'll miss you too. Everything happens for a reason, Joe. It's… It's my time,"

"It's not," Joe says suddenly, raising his voice. "You're sixteen. You're supposed to grow up, and get married, and have kids. You're not supposed to die," The last word catches in his throat, as he tries to stop himself from bursting into tears. He has to stay strong for Nick; he can't let his baby brother see what this is doing to him, see that it's tearing him up from the inside out.

"I've accomplished more things in sixteen years than some people accomplish in their entire lives, Joe. I don't want to die, or leave you and everyone behind, but I have to, it's life," Nick explains slowly, staring down at the sheets covering his frail body. "Mom told me that God does this to people who He thinks can handle it. So sure, being sick sucks. But we've made a difference in so many people's lives… And even if I die, knowing that we've helped so many people will be worth it,"

A tear slides down Joe's cheek at Nick's words, followed by another. He can't hold them back any longer, because Nick's right. And even if it hurts, it's true.

"Remember when we first got the news? I said that I wanted to use my disease to help others. And we did. That's all I ever could've asked for," Nick whispers, a small smile on his heart shaped face. It's the first genuine smile Joe's seen in weeks, and he can't help but smile back as he reaches out to take his brother's hand.

"You don't know how proud I am of you, Nick," He says softly, gently squeezing his cold hand. "You're so strong and… I don't know what I'm going to do without you,"

"Go out, live life. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Do whatever makes you happy. Because you don't know what's going to happen next. It could all be taken away from you in an instant,"

Joe's smile widens at Nick's advice, and it's just like back when they would go on tour, and Nick would make his speech to the thousands of fans every night.

"_Sometimes life brings out its complications and some hardships, but it's how we deal with them that counts. And I know that each and every single one of you in this audience tonight has been through a hard time in your life before, right? I know that each and every one of you has felt, at one point, like you couldn't go on. But then you found hope. There's always some way to find hope. Remember that. __Believe in hope, believe in love, and believe in yourself. We love you, and we believe in you...always.__"_

And later that night when the hospital calls telling them that Nick has passed on, Joe remembers those words and knows that his brother is in a better place, smiling and watching over him.


End file.
